Feedback is GOLD
Most of my life I have felt immense love and support from everyone. I was always pushed positively to pursue my dreams and speak up. I know I’m very lucky in that aspect. Of course, there’s been personal relationships where the energy didn’t flow, toxicity was involved but I’ve never been criticized/spoken to in a way that took me to my edge of FEAR.
See.. fear and I have a strong relationship. Fear loves to keep me in my box, it tells me that I need to run - hide - and escape forever. What I didn’t know until I started working with my feelings coach Charlotte Vetter is that FEAR is OK and it can be my superpower. I can use it to tap into my intuition when something is not right and I can turn it into COURAGE. I’ve been living in flight or fight for the majority of my life. Working super hard to show up for OTHERS out of fear of losing it all and not being liked or accepted. I never received harsh criticism because I worked endlessly to please others… and now as I work more in a flow state these people that live off of people pleasing patterns from others, are being faced with a big hit of reality when they encounter me.
Recently I was criticized DEEPLY, my community was put at risk, my hours of passionate hard work were put into a blender and I felt like running. I felt my fear telling me to completely block everything and everyone out of my life, run off to an other country, and hide. BUT I just listened this time.. I didn’t act out on it... I listened closely and re-read the criticism that was given (maybe one too many times). I believe that feedback is GOLD and although this was not constructive criticism or feedback per-say, I would still be able to take the negativity and turn it into a huge upgrade for myself and everyone I come in contact with. I thank this situation, now I’m able to restart and GO.
The criticism came with a lot of hurt and I let myself feel all my feelings. I felt the pain and struggle of those that criticized me, I kept thinking.. how can I help them? How can I have them view the possibility of LIFE. I quickly remembered, I’m not here to save anyone. I’m here to guide others, to hold space, and to be a leader. I had done enough and that’s it.
This last week, I didn’t give into other peoples gremlins and low-drama. I stood my ground as much as possible, because I believe in myself and my true identity. I am not perfect and even though my edge has been so uncomfortable, I know that I have to get through the underworld to get to higher ground.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I could easily say that my experiences lately have been full of sunshine but no they haven’t. I went through a transformational death + rebirth at my last medicine immersion in July (i’ll write about this soon) and then a complete mindset upgrade in Sedona. Out of these experiences came an immense amount of GOLD. I am beyond grateful for the beings that pushed me to my EDGE, to those that don’t believe in me, that don’t align with me because if I didn’t have them…. I would never evolve. They were dropped into my universe to expand me.
I’m excited to put new protocols into my immersions, to continue growing alongside my community, and to meet all the new folks that want to evolve in the same way. I hope this resonates if you are a recovering people pleaser, anxiety driven person like I am. When negativity or feedback shows up in our lives how can we see it as an opportunity to upgrade? How can we see it as a doorway to a new possibility?
Gracias for reading my first blog post - this felt right. I’ll continue to intuitively update you all along the way. A’ho 🪶